in a daze

8/16/2004

first wave of vbs

first day of vbs..my favourite part of the day was the beginning when we had the skit. its always the easiest because you rehearse over and over again and you just go but when you actually have to teach a class the moves its so hard because so many unpredictable things can happen like today when the jk and sks dint listen at all or when the grade 5 and 6s were too cocky to do anything seriously..i mean like you have so many different types of kids and you try to get them to do when thing and be patient..its really hard..and it feels like i always have to impress anna too because she always looks like she really hates evrything i mean i dunno its jus like a blank expression..im really tired. i mean its fun but i hate it because i just cant control kids and i hate like treating them differently i mean why cant you jus talk to them normally make fun of them do whatever i was with the grade 3 and 4s and i was like joking around with them and evrything and then there was this kid like hogging up the ac vent thing and i was like hey! why are you so selfish and then like he turned around and i was smiling and he knew i dint mean it and then dennis is like in this lil kids voice comon now you have to share...im like..oh my gosh.. like i kno its odd and you gotta be nyce and stuff but i dunno its jus so fake i dont care if im rude to them because ill only be rude to them if they deserve it. i dont kno whatever im really sick of this. i have a feeling im not really gonna be happy these next few days. i need to pray.

had another one of those extra long phone calls with rachel today..its been so long how crazy. talking about skwel im completely spazzing out. i have to choose new courses by friday and i really have no idea. and im saddened i mean like im in 10b with all my friends but also with the nonasian crowd and nothing racist but that group..i just really cannot relate with them i mean its really sad because theyre so....mindless and shallow i guess? i mean theyre nyce but i really wonder sometimes where theyll get to in life. but owell i guess. this is gonna be a really hard year i believe..friendship wise. im really really scared im going to fall behind. im just really scared of this year. i have no idea what to expect i mean before at whitefield when i went back to the school i knew evrything would be the same..same people like one or two new people and like the same class cuz theres only one class...and there was nobody you couldnt really talk to because...it was jus like a family and that was one thing i loved about it. sure i hated the teachers but the community as a whole...it was just so..wholesome. what i dint like about peoples was that it was so cluttered..still family like but a lot more busy..and lot more fastpaced. which also relates to my life..i have a feeling a big big one that i will spend a part of my life living in suburban areas because i hate the urban feel..i hate where evrything is fast paced and busy..it never brings me raw excitement but fear.

five more days until the cruise. im excited im nervous..im not really thinking about it..im hoping like crazy that the hurricane will end there so that we can still go and have a good time and nyce weather. im mad i couldnt put my big hoop earrings on for some reason like i could but it in but i couldnt find the other end but it works for my studs..maybe its thicker i dont know but im going to try again now

im outs. joeyxx

posted by joanne - @ 8:27 pm