9/26/2004

revelated and humbled

today seemed like a completely typical day slept in made my mom yell at me to get up blah blah blah feeling still a tad bit pissy and emotionless by service i was jus irritable again it was like the feeling of yesterday building up all over again i knew that i couldnt go to prayer meeting like i jus couldnt id jus make it miserable so i went to woodside with my dad and then i ate jasmine by myself..ya pretty lonely but it was good i was like jus thinking to myself about a lot of stuff you kno..trying to sort evrything out and try to get what was bothering me to surface. i was walking back by myself and jus praying and singing songs to myself and like it was so crazie i was like praying asking why i was so emotionless asking what was wrong with me why i couldnt be happy...and then the most unordinary thing happened..as i was waiting to cross the street so i was waiting for the light to change and i was watching the cars go by..and then there was this old man on a bike with a plastic bag and then i jus watched him and then next thing i knew was he was on the ground and he was struggling to get back up and i had no idea what to do..i was paralyzed i was scared i dint kno if i should go help him because i was by myself what if it was sumthing dangerous for me..as i watched him helplessly i heard cars honking at him and i watched him try to get himself and then bike up to get out of the way and he fell again i finally realized the light for me changed and i walked across...when i was done walking i noticed he was swaying around yet dragging the bike to the other side of the road and into a neighbourhood road and the next thing i saw..he was crumpled in a ball at the side lying on the curb...i walked back to the church completely confused of what to do i was struggling what if i was there to help him and i failed..i walked right past him parading with my hcefc shirt and like in the good samaritan..i jus crossed to the other side...i went to church and i broke down with my frends as i told them and me and imelda went back to find him but he was gone...i think i will remember this incident for the rest of my life..anyways im more normal now thank goodness...i guess i jus needed to break out and cry evrything out...

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home