in a daze

3/24/2005

when all you can do is think

had to stay home again and miss school..man i was actually looking forward to today i dont know. *sigh* i didnt even know specifically what was wrong my entire body just didnt feel right. i felt like my self had died but my body was working properly. but then in the afternoon i started coughing nonstoplike an old grandpa. like wheezing. it was so horrible. *sigh* and randomly i get like small waves of nausea.
but anyways i spent some time just thinking today cuz theres not much else i can do. its been a while since i actually thought haha. weell i was browsing through the old booth pictures over my bed as i was lying there trying hard to get tired. rows of pictures in which everyone is smiling. its been so easy to put on a smile everyday and have people believe youre happy. i looked at pictures taken recently, and i felt so empty and low, because the smile i had on was just a smile. i feel so ungenuine. i dont even know...

posted by joanne - @ 5:09 pm